His perspective

This post is partially in reaction to inspired by this post which appeared on Rockit.

I think Nat really got to the root when she said "Maybe my investment in this relationship is what's got my nesting reflex acting up. I need to let go a bit more, I guess. Gotta inject a little bit of singleton into this coupled-up body." This is something I've always vehemently believed in, and it's that I won't change who I am on a fundamental level because I'm in a relationship with someone.

Now don't all go get your backs up and think I'm an inconsiderate bastard because I refuse to take my partners' feelings into account. You'd be dead wrong there. I take her feelings into account in pretty much everything I do. There are however certain things which I don't believe need to be changed to maintain a happy relationship. Like for instance who I am when I go out. Ok yes, I spent an evening with a group of women I barely knew, and on paper that sounds terrible. But take into account the fact that I told them from the get-go that I wasn't available for any shenanigans, and the fact that I told Nat as soon as I got home (whilst slurring rather drunkenly), and you begin to see that in no way was there any surreptitious bahaviour going on.

I've always loved big mad nights out, and on too many occasions I've seen people close to me who enter relationships fading out of the scene and in many respects losing touch with people they once spent alot of time with. And while that's not really what my night out was about, it's the same principle which underlies it. I liked who I was when I was single and I want to remain that person. So when I have an opportunity to meet up with a mate for some drinks and my girlfriend doesn't feel like going out, well, I think it's alright for me to still go out. And if while out we're approached by some people who are up for a party, well I think it's alright for me to party with them. And I know that Nat isn't threatened by that, and I know that she trusts me, and in the end that's all that counts.

Part of why I do these things is rooted in two deep seated fears of mine. Number one, that somewhere out there one of my friends is having a fan-fucking-tastic party and I'm missing out on it. And number two, that somewhere out there one of my friends is saying 'Jeez... we hardly ever see Ian out anymore since he hooked up with Nat.' These are two conscious thoughts I have (on a regular occasion) which underly the way I choose to be in a relationship. It's something I think Natalie understands and I'm grateful for that. And you know what... I'd be completely fine with her going out and partying with a bunch of guys while I wasn't there.

But yes, of course it was a pretty hefty ego boost to have eye's made at me by a bunch of girls from across the bar. Funnily enough it's here that Nat and I really differ. She get's jealous when this happens to me, which is understandable. I on the other hand am happy and flattered when it happens to her. Maybe I'm just weird, but when another guy thinks my girlfriend is worth a snog... well hell... it just means waiting for her all this time was the right damn decision... because she IS worth a snog... and apparently I'm not the only one thinking it. The difference is, of course, that I'm the only bugger lucky enough to actually be doing it.

PS. Don't ask me for names... I haven't a clue. All I remember is 2x Yorkshire, 2x Canada, 1x Scotland.