'Cos in the garden of reason you can't change what you're given, but you can go where the river flows

To use cliched company speak, playing from ten is important, especially on a Monday morning. So to all the readers out there who aren't quite playing off a ten here are a couple of random Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel facts. Hopefully they'll ratchet you lot up another couple of marks.

"To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.|

"Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress."

"If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death."

"When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket."

"Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill."

"When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead."

Get the rest of Chucks facts here and Vins here.

I bet you laughed out loud!