Archives Meme

Thames Pano
Originally uploaded by Ian Wilson.

I've just been tagged by Charlene in Germany with a kind of bespoke and original meme. She's been trawling through my old archives and picked a post from 2003 that she wants me to look at and then answer some questions on.

The questions are:

a) What you thought when you saw this email and started thinking about blogging about this?
b) What memories come back when you read this old post?
c) How you feel about London now, compared to 2003?

The original entry is from June 2003, reposted for your pleasure (and my embarrassment) below.


"Repent. The end is very fucking nigh

I rented '28 Days later' last night. It was brilliant. Grainy, unpredictable, riveting material. I also thought it made quite a clever underhanded poke at the inherent nature of man to destroy his own species (and himself). One thing did occur to me though. After having lived in England for about 1o months now I find it really strange to see places I've been popping up in movies. And the scenes of an abandoned London were so alien to me, almost surreal. London is NEVER adandoned. Scrap that. London is never even quiet. London pulses 24 hours a day... which was something I had to get used to very quickly while living in Kentish Town. Anyways.

I was going to write more about the movie, but having just read that Natalie has been offered a 'great-looking, amazing plate with excellent taste' I find myself strangely short of words. This has evoked a nasty green streak in me... and yes... I know that I'm involved in a relationship and being horribly poncy and unfair and hippocritical... and a dick really. Still. It's hard to read.

The phrase 'do unto others' comes to mind. Fuck.

Last nights wine tasting at the pub was excellent. Besides the load of wine that I tried for free, I also tried a large quantity of apple schnapps (the real stuff) for free, ate a ton of cheese and biscuits, and then sat at a table and helped polish off 4 bottles of wine. At 1am I was bent over the toilet yakking my lungs out. And this morning I feel fine. Work that one out.

Tonight I'm going to Tisbury football club for drinks with Tam who I used to work with. After that it's back to the Lamb (where I used to work) for drinks, and then back to the Swan House (where I used to live) for more drinks. I think I'll crash there tonight, even though I have work tommorow."


Answers

a) What you thought when you saw this email and started thinking about blogging about this?

I think my first emotion was complete embarrassment. For about 5 years my blog has been published without archives and I've always quite liked the transient nature of it. Only recently have I finally put the archived pages up for public consumption. I know that I've written some real crap over the years so to have concrete proof that someone has actually gone and actively read my old posts makes me blush.

My second thought was that it's pretty cool someone has actually bothered to go back and read some archived posts, and also that this was an excellent idea for a meme.

b) What memories come back when you read this old post?

The greatest thing about rereading that old post is that I can immediately imagine myself back there, sitting in my small bedsit blogging.

I remember that I'd recently started my second job since arriving in England, moving up into management after being a bar tender for just over 6 months. I had recently moved to a new town, had to make a bunch of new friends, and had also started dating a really nice English lass.

Exactly where I was in that relationship I can't quite remember but I to this day I regret the way that things ended with her. I was in a place where I was in love with someone I wouldn't be able to be with for another 3 years and I was trying to live my life with that in the back of my head while at the same time pretending that everything was normal in my relationship. I still remember what she said to me when I moved to London and we broke up. She was completely right, and I was completely wrong... but I still believe that I was wrong for all the right reasons. If that makes any sense.

I remember reading Nat's 'plate' analogy about some guy who had asked her out and hating the fact that I couldn't have my cake and eat it. I hated that fact that guys were asking her out while I was thousands of miles away. It was completely hypocritical of me as I was dating someone else anyway. But that situation repeated itself a fair few times over the years anyway, from both sides, and things still worked out the way that we wanted.

I also completely remember that night wine tasting, and the schnapps, and drinking another 4 bottles of wine (with help!), and then throwing up all night. I also remember going for drinks in Tisbury, which was abysmal. The rest of the evening was fantastic though!

That period in my life was quite difficult and yet absolutely brilliant. Good times!

c) How you feel about London now, compared to 2003?

Well first up, my awe at London has passed. At that point in my life I'd spent all of 2 weeks in the city and then moved down to Dorset and into the smallest village ever. As such London was a pretty big daunting idea and still very much romanticised in my head.

After having lived in the city for 3 years now pretty much all the awe and romance is gone. There are still areas of the city that capture it for me, but in general these day I think of London as big, busy, dirty, and loud.

Don't get me wrong, I still love living here! I love the fact that things happen here. It's a very happening place! There are always things to do, places to go, and if you want the romance and awe you can still find places if you know where to look – I just can't afford to live near them right now. If I was given the choice I would still always choose to live in London.

So I guess in that respect my opinion of London has changed a lot over the years. I used to think that all of London was like Trafalgar Square. That was the kind of image I had in my head when I arrived from South Africa. After moving to the city it quickly became apparent that while central London was very much the way that I had imagined it, the rest of the city was a big busy dirty loud place filled with all it's own problems. So just like a lot of other cities then.

These days London means different things to me. It means career. It means friends. It means travelling into Waterloo to remember what it originally meant to me. It's become more a part of my life as opposed to a picture in my head.