A perfect day

Spent part of today in Nottingham just arbing around with my mom (again). Notts is a great city. It has a super relaxed atmosphere about it... which, considering I'm from Cape Town, is pretty much right up my street. It's also a great pace to shop! So many designer shops, trendy cafes, comfortable pubs. I just love it there.

Hence this.



I totally dig these shoes! I was originally looking at a wicked pair of Paul Smith's design and was about to go back to his shop to get them when I stumbled across these at Office. £30 cheaper and I like them even more than the Paul Smith pair. The DVD's where a complete steal and I just couldn't resist them. Well you can't really argue with 5 for £30 now can you? So I managed to pick up some [of what I consider to be] classics: The Crow (the original, also the 2 disk collectors edition); Human Traffic (2 disk collectors edition); Reservoir Dogs; Pulp Fiction (because I think it's just that stylish a movie!); and You've Got Mail. The last title was just because I'm a sucker for romantic comedies and I love Meg Ryan.

Holy shit! Did I just write that? *checking to make sure penis is still attached to pelvic region* Ok, it's true. I am a complete romance junkie. I'm quite proud of it. I like to think of myself as relatively androgenous, although most people mistake that for 'complete queen'. Who cares.

And then there's just this, from my day in London. It's the obligatory Picadilly Circus shot.



Laters then.

Ja, ons gaan lekker fokken braai vanaand

If you understood the headline then you’ll know already that tonight I’m going to be going to a braai (bar-b-q for you non South Africans) tonight. It’s complements of my cousin in Nottingham. This is the same cousin that managed to get hold of some Castle lager and send it to his dad in Morton so that I would have beer from home while I’m up here in the north of England. I have like the best family ever!

Today I’ve just been arbing with my mom around Newark-on-Trent. Not much happened really but it’s just nice to be around her again, I’ve missed her. She still insists on buying me things though. I don’t think she’ll ever understand that I’m old and ugly enough to look after my own ass now.

While I remember, although I don’t think that she reads the site, big thanks to Janine for sending me the Juan Pablo Montoya poster. Lots of love going out to you right now chick! I had dream the other night that I actually met the man. It was uber cool, we got along really well and he thought he was a great racing driver for all the same reasons that I think he is… which is probably just because it was my dream and thus a product of my imagination, but I don’t really care.

Last point. The best blog post that I have read in a long time... here.

I just fell fell in love...

...with this site. You can get instant turn by turn driving instructions to anywhere in London. All at the click of a button. Convenience at my finger tips.

My day

Ouch my eyes. My head. My whole fucking body. Over the last 2 days I think I’ve managed to amass something like a total of 7 hours sleep. I actually dragged my ass out of bed this morning at about half past four just so that I could meet Chris and Damien at Heathrow when they landed. Little did I know that it would take them a good two and a bit hours to get from the plane to the international arrivals gate! So in hindsight I could have grabbed another hour and a half kip time. Could do with it too! Tomorrow morning I’m up again at the same time because my mom is landing at Heathrow and I’m going to meet her as well. Arg!

So on top of already being chronically tired I’ve also managed to walk myself half to death through London showing Chris and Damien some of the sights. So far we’ve been to Leicester Square, Piccadilly Circus, Harrods, and a couple of other arb places like the Virgin Megastore (and some more that I’ve forgotten). I left them on the Piccadilly line earlier this afternoon so they could head back to Earls Court and I could go back to Adrian’s pad in Wandsworth to catch up on some sleep time. Unfortunately I got a bit side tracked on the way back at The Brewery Tap, the Youngs shop and pub. I suppose that could be construed as mixing work with pleasure… considering that I assist with the management of two Youngs owned pubs in Wiltshire and Dorset. Ahhh shit… who cares really, they brew great beer and that’s the only excuse I need.

Got some texts from Tam this morning too asking about ‘the boys’. Well, the boys are good. Still a bit shocked at being let out of their pond and into the ocean I think, but they’re acclimatising. It won’t be long till they’ve made some ‘mates’ who’ll ‘blag’ their way out of work to meet at the pub and go ‘out on the piss’. Hell, maybe they’ll even develop a taste for flat, warm beer. I did.

We spent the evening in and around Earls Court, where they’re staying for the next 3 nights. Just had a couple of quiet pints as they were both completely knackered from the flight and I have to drive long distance tomorrow and don’t want to be over the limit. It's going to be so good to see my mom again! Just wish my dad could have made the trip too... class chap and drinking buddy that he is! Such is life though (damn I've been saying that too often lately!).

Anyways, tata for now. I need to crash.

But I thought he said...

So the new trying-to-get-out-more Ian decided that he’d head over to the Grovenor after work for a few pints tonight. It was all good really. I managed to get a couple of Kronies down my throat, have a chat with a mate, relax, get some news, which in the grand scheme of things was bad news... and then have a laugh about said news with said mate. It was the kind of news that made me wish me mad mate Wayne was with to help me digest it. Wayne’s the type of friend that’ll make you laugh at yourself, make you giggle uncontrollably in the worst situation, and just make light of almost anything bad(he had me laughing the morning after I wrapped my dad’s BMW around a street pole at 100mph). In the end Lee was the one that laughed at me, and made me laugh at me, and my life, and pretty much everything. Who would of thought? He actually understood me tonight. Shock horror. I think he found my situation honestly funny, which I did too (surprise, surprise). It’s a good sign really. I needed to find it funny.

Even though it’s not. God dammit.

I think at this point I may need to clarify a few things. This site is about me (well, Nat’s as well if you take a look at the big red rectangle). It’s definitely not about you… who ever the hell you are. It’s not written for you, or for anyone. In fact I couldn’t give a fig if you read this or not. It’s written purely for me. It’s not a surreptitious form of communication. It’s purely ME sorting MY shit out in MY head. Something like a confessional… but a public one. I don’t really know why it needs to be public. Maybe something to do with the fact that I don’t see the point in writing something that no one else is ever going to read. Whatever. Just don’t think I’m doing this for you.

Well now that that’s off my chest I actually don’t have anything else to write. Hope you enjoyed it. Laters.

Lyrics

"Do you care if I don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me."

From that epic song, 'There Is' by Boxcar Racer. I while ago I was identifying with the lyrics in a big way. Or was that with the sentimement. Or the video. I don't know. Whatever. Right now I just think it's a kick ass song.

SIX!

Went out on the lash a bit last night. Got hit on a bit. Handed out the bat a bit. It felt good. It's always nice to know that [a small percentage of] the opposite sex find you attractive *wink*. However I did get horribly hit on by someone who I didn't really want to be hit on by (I'm having huge problems with this in general at the moment!). The scenario went something like this:

Girl: So. Are you still single then?
Me: Ahhhh... yep
Girl: Ohh.
Girl: Actually, so am I.
Me: Ahhhhh... Ok.
Girl: Do you wanna know something?
Me: Ahhhhh... alright.
Girl: I think you're a really great guy.
Me: Ahhhhh... thanks... *uncomfortable silence*

After that oh-so-obviously "Not intrested!" reply from me she went off and I scarpered. I hate that. I always get attention from girls that are so scarily not my type it's... well, scary.

Over the past few weeks since Sarah and I split I've had to reconcile alot of my thoughts and ideas. It's been a rather strange and often winding path that I've had to mentally tread but I've come to the end of it and I'm happy with my mindset. Unfortunately, as per usual, my timing stinks. But that can't be helped so I'll just deal.

I'm in a happier place right now than I have been for a while. I'm making a concerted effort to get out a bit more. I used to be a bit of a 'pardy aminal' but since moving to Wiltshire, and now Dorset, all that's dried up. Instead, somehow, I've become a kind of reclusive, party avoiding, old-before-his-time bloke. Well that's how it feels anyway. It's probably something to do wiith all the country air out here. Anyway, what counts is that I'm making the effort to regain the old Ian. I'm going to give it a good bit of stick too because who I am right now is not actually who I am. If you get that.

Anyways, I'm off. Work starts again in about an hour.

Circadium rythm... what rythm?

I've gone and botched my sleep/wake pattern again. I hate it when I do this. What I hate more is that I do it the same way every single time - drink too much early on, go sleep, wake up as the pubs close, and then sit on my arse till 3am watching movies (usually shite movies) and plonking around on the internet trying to keep myself occupied.

Today I dragged Sarah out (pretty much against her will I'm sure) for pub lunch at the Lamb. The food was excellent really. We shared a tiger prawn starter, followed by grilled asparagus for me and French style saute chicken for her. Seeing as I was driving I stuck to orange juice and lemonade. Seeing as she was nursing a monstrous hangover following a lock-in so did she. After the meal I dragged her (unwillingly again I think) back to Shaftesbury for drinks. She ended up not being able to stomach the wine, so I was left the arduous task of finishing the bottle by myself. Hence I passed out while watching the Npower Test series on Sky earlier this afternoon. And hence I'm sitting in bed typing this at quarter to bloody three in the morning not able to sleep.

But that's enough about me. Let's talk about you.

Midnight on the landing of peace and tranquility

Tonight I seem to have been taken by one of the strange moods that strike me from time to time. I don’t know if it’s a product of how tired I am after work (news about that later) or if it’s something slightly more intrinsic than that. What ever it is, tonight I find myself sitting up on the fire escape landing with a bottle of wine, just savouring the atmosphere. It’s a truly beautiful evening: it’s been raining already so everything has that fresh clean smell that follows a good rain; the church bell tower is looming up to my left in the night sky; and it’s also just about to turn midnight. There’s just something magical about being up here all alone, relaxed, and at peace with [almost] everything in my life. It’s rather romantic really... even though I’m by myself.

I’ll admit to being a bit of a loner at times. I get along really well with me for the most part, and I enjoy being alone with my thoughts when I can. Having said that, the right company now would, perhaps, heighten the whole atmosphere even more. I don’t know. Maybe. I feel more relaxed right now than I have for a long time now and that in itself is special.

Work has of late taken a bit of a turn. I am now, as well as helping manage a heaving pub in Shaftesbury, also managing a hotel/pub/fine dining restaurant in Hindon, Wiltshire. Yep, I’ve been asked back to the Lamb to help the full time manager there get a couple of days off a week. So my work schedule right now is as follows: Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday at the Mitre in Shaftesbury; Monday and Tuesday at the Lamb at Hindon. It’s a lovely arrangement really. I get a break in my work environment during the week, I get to work with different people, people that I know I like, plus I get put up in a hotel room when I’m away from home, complements of the brewery that I work for (sue me, I’m 23 and still completely in love with the idea of staying in hotels!).

That’s about me for tonight. Tomorrow I have some pretty good plans, and if all goes well I think it will be a fun day. I’m going to sit up here on the landing until I finish my bottle of wine and then go crash. Sleep tight.

Drunk... vary VARY drunk

Well 2 days after the fact and I am finally in condition to write about the party I went to. I met Graham and Danny at the pub at about 22:30, quaffed a quick Vodka and Coke and headed out... to find that the taxi we had booked didn't have time to take us where we needed to go. So instead we climbed into Grahams Audi TT (I got the back... CRAMP!) and drove there... very quickly. Thank God I am not a panicky passenger, because if that had been my Renault that we were driving we would have ended up in a hedge a long time before we got to the farm.

Ah yes, the farm. This party was in a class by itself. Not only was there 4 carcasses cooking over spit braai's (spit roasts for you non South Africans), there were also troughs of beer being chilled, a huge marquee tent complete with dancefloor, and... wait for it... a BOUNCING CASTLE!

Needless to say that I hit the beer quickly and after I had put a few down my throat I was definitely feeling the vibe. So I headed to the dancefloor, where I spent a large chunk of the rest of the evening. I don't know what it was, but I just felt like dancing. I mean I enjoy dancing (even though I probably look a bit like a epileptic Thunder Bird) and I haven't had an opportunity to for absolute ages. Since my holiday back in SA really. So maybe I was just getting that off my chest. Anyways.

I ended up drinking absolute copious amounts of beer... and Grouse swigged straight from the bottle which Grahams insane friend Moggy kept offering me... and eventually passed out in the TT sometime around 4 am, I think. At 9am I was droppped off outside my place, still completely pissed, and promptly started swaggering off down the road in the complete wrong direction from home. Thankfully Graham stopped the car and corrected my drunk ass before I ended up in the wrong area code.

At 14:30 the same day I was back at work. There must have been some divine intervention there because I was, for the most part, hangover-less and in pretty good condition all round. No throbbing headache, no nausea, no scratchy eyeballs. Just an unearthly craving for Coke.

I think the party qualifies as one of the best times I've had here since leaving home about a year ago. It's not quite up there with my day at the Church and Backpackers with Adrian but it aspires to be. It was good to get it off my chest. Just a pity that the rest of my mates from back home couldn't have been there. God knows, Warren would have killed to see the women there.

How many female stable hands was that?

Ha. Tonight I am going out... somewhere interesting. Somewhere not in Shaftesbury. I am very stoked.

I've been invited out to a party on a farm in Dorset. Or was that Wiltshire? Whatever. Point is it's Saturday night and I am getting out to go drinking/partying somewhere interesting... and there was mention of 25 attractive female stable hands. Ok, no complaints there then.

I am all set too. Popped into Somerfield's this afternoon and convieniently they had a 'buy one get one free' promotion on four-paks of Fosters Export (what ever your opinion of Fosters may be). So I now have a load of beer too. Great.

I will probably take my camera so look out for the photo's in the near future.

Wanna know what I REALLY hate?

What I realy hate is fucking up at work. You know the type of fuck up. The one where you know it was you. Where your boss knows it was you. When it couldn't have been anyone but you and you can't hand it off on anyone else... or make excuses like, "Well I had an appointment with the optometrist, and when I got back, well, I just... forgot to do it...".

I feel like such a twat right now. When things like this happen you can't help but feel like it's wrecked every last scrap of respect that people have for the way that you do your job. I mean it probably hasn't had that effect, but you still can't help feeling like it has.

Arg.

A sphincter says what?

Well it seems like my Haloscan comments system is up and running. Will implement Nat's as soon as I'm happy with it's positioning.

Doing it for charity

A couple of guys at the pub are in the middle of organizing a charity 5-a-side football tournament to raise funds for the Shaftesbury Memorial Hospital. While they were talking it through a couple of nights ago... and drinking far too much larger... Nick spontaneously offered to shave his head (with a Mach 3) to raise even more money. Following a whirlwind hour of fundraising we managed to amass of total just short of £200 for the hospital.

And true to his word, the following day at 13:00 Nick arrived to have his noggin' polished. Here are the photo's.

The oligatory 'before' shot.



Halfway through the initial procedure.



Just stubble left now.



"Gillette... the best a man can get."



And the final product. With a bit of a polish I reckon you could see you face in it.

Closure... or almost

Closure... almost

Well, the dual blogs are finally up and running, for the most part. Natalie's comments system got lost somewhere in the change (I thought I'd left all the relevant code in, but obviously not) but that's about the worst that happened. Her archives aren't working either - yet - but the settings have been changed and it's just a case of republishing them so that they get transferred to the new location.

The difference between men and women

"...if Barbara, Robyn, Lisa and Fiona go out to lunch they will call each other Barbara, Robyn, Lisa and Fiona. But if Ray, Allan, Mike and Bill go out for a drink, they refer to each other as Dickhead, Wanker, Numbskull and Useless."

That bit of humourous observation is complements of Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps, by Allan and Barbara Pease.

At the moment I'm suffering from such nauseating mood swings and emotional rollercoaster rides that I think I may have become a woman. The headaches that I'm suffering from (which I think are a by product of my mafunctioning eye's) aren't making life any better either.

I don't even know what it is anymore really, you know, why the hell I feel the way I do right now. I think I may just be overanalyzing everything in my life. I have a problem with this. I always have.

One thing is for sure though, I do need to get out. I miss the city. I need this upcoming holiday to London and Nottingham. Part of my problem [I think] is the lack of my night life over the last 3 months. When you're used to clubbing with friends, meeting people, and having an all round insane time pretty much every weekend and then remove that... well, it just feels like the minimal level of fun that life should inherently involve is lacking. So tomorrow I'm doing the town and country equivalent of clubbing and going to the Grovenor to get completely wasted during happy hour.

God help me.

So exactly what is all the fuss about then?

At the moment, with Nat on vac, and therefore less access to the net, and with my mobile in for repairs, my contact with her has been rather limited. So I'm still waiting for the final details I need in order to get this site up and running with dual blogs. In the meantime here's a couple of pics, just so that you know who exactly will be blogging alongside me.

So here you go. Here is the soon to be other resident of this page, and also the reason for my recent breakup, as well as just about all the other confusion in my life.




Here we are at a ICC World Cup cicket match at Buffalo Park in East London (East London, South Africa that is).




And that's all for tonight folks. Sleep tight.

But is it true?

Well I have to laugh now. Today I think I realized that 2 people are reading this site... or shall I say that 2 people who I didn't think were, are.

Firstly Sarah. She told me a week or so ago that she wasn't going to read it anymore, mainly because I reckon it was the catalyst for our breakup. Today though she made painstaking attempts not to bring her 'conquests' into my 'awareness'. I respect her for that. It was just a pity that no one else was playing the same game and completely blew her cover. Still, thanks for making the effort, I appreciate it. My promise to myself is that I won't be a sullen bastard about this for more than one more day. Today [after Sarah left work] I felt like my usual self again, and I don't think that the pissed off Ian will be making too many more appearances over this particular incident. Well I hope not anyway.

Secondly, and far more worryingly, I think my boss is reading my site (remind me not to slag off work on here anymore! *grin*). We were chatting after work tonight about London Vs Shaftesbury and she mentioned that Shaftesbury suffers from "Small Town Syndrome". What the hell?! I thought I made that syndrome up all by myself last night? The way she grinned at me afterward was also disturbing... disturbing in a funny, 'you've been busted' kind of way. If what I suspect is true then I am rather lucky that I've never been anything but upfront with my bosses.

Anyways. Antitrust is on Sky and I feel like watching it.

More progress

After quite a long time now I have finally put some of my new galleries up. They're a couple of months old already, but I've finally made the time to edit all the photo's and upload them. The top gallery in incomplete because the script I use seems to have crashed and won't allow me to upload anything at the moment. As soon as that is solved I'll finish it and put in some captions.

In the mean time, enjoy.

At some stage I'll get around to implementing some navigation, and then there'll be a premanenmt link. I promise.

My predictions

Time to go out and face the music I reckon. Today is going to be another pain in the arse day at work. I am not going to be happy. But I'll deal.

I forecast that by tomorrow I will be grounded again and back to my usual self. Today is dedicated to assimilating bad news and getting over it... again.

I also have to go make an appointment with the optician and I just know that she's going to tell me that I need glasses. Great.

Town and Country Vs Big Smoke

I have come to a new conclusion: I never want to date another girl that I can't just run away from and pretend never existed. I've never felt like this before. I'm (quite proudly) friends with all of my ex's. Ok, I know Janine and I had issues, but they're sorted and we're friends now. And anyways, those issues didn't stem from our direct break up.

Right now though I'm stuck in a situation where everything my ex does comes back up and smacks me in the face, and I just can't avoid it... or her. Serious or not serious relationship, we dated for a few months, there's some attachement there. A month of not having to deal with her conquests would do me some good. Said month is not forthcoming.

I think this problem stems from staying in a town, as opposed to a city. I'm a born and bred city boy, I have never had to deal with issues like this before. Previously when I broke up with a girl we could stay friends. I never got wind of what she was getting up too, and more importantly I never knew who she was getting up to whatever with. Of course alternately it could be a culture difference between Saffers and Brits. Maybe I expect my ex's to respect how I might feel about who they get off with. Maybe Brits just reckon that being a free agent means anyone is game. I don't know. Me, I once had something with a friends ex girlfriend and hated myself for 3 months afterward for it. I felt like I had disrespected his space. Treaded on his toes so to speak.

But like I said - maybe it's just a case of Small Town Syndrome. Chances are, no matter 'who she chooses to have something with' *friendly edit* I'm going to either have worked with them, socialized with them, or at least know them by name. But do I really have to know about it all of the time, fuck it? Can't it just exist outside of my awareness?

This sucks. I can't fucking wait for the sheer anononimity of the city. Bring it on.

Sorting out my shit

I woke this morning feeling a like a massive burden has been lifted from my mind. The last couple of weeks I've had so much crap running around in my head that I haven't felt like my normal [happy] self. It's been a couple of things really. Financial, personal, career... the whole spectrum. I hate it when smiling becomes something I have to cognitively force onto my face.

The personal stuff sorted itself out over time, which it usually does. A couple of things were annoying me chronically, but I left them to stew and over the last few days they have dissapated. No confrontations involved. It was probably better that way. I was going to say something... Adrian advised me not to... I was still going to... and then I woke up this morning and couldn't be bothered. So that's sorted.

To order my finances I have decided to sell my car. It's not that I'm struggling to meet payments, or that I'm in the red, or anything like that really. When I bought the car I envisaged myself using it all the time, getting around to loads of places that I have't been to before. In reality that never happened. Instead I'm now financing a car, paying insurance, petrol, tax, upkeep... and all for something that I use roughly twice a week (maybe). It would be different if I was commuting to work, or using the car to go out in. But I'm not. So it's just a financial drain pipe right now really. Even catching taxi's where ever I want to go will work out cheaper. So that's my decision - I'm going to keep the car until my mom's upcoming holiday here is over, after which I will flog it to the first dealer that offers me a decent price. I'll have extra expendable cash, and less to worry about.

And that just leaves the career side of things, which I'll be able to focus on far more without the other 2 aspects bothering me all the time. I really do have to start using my degrees for something.

The game is up

Well I guess that the game is up now. The new header is installed, minus some extra navigation that's in the pipelines, and I think the plan for this site is pretty much obvious now. I'm just waiting for some details from Nat's, after which her blog will join mine on this page. Both the Foolstop.za.net and Rockit.za.net domains will then direct you to the same page. I think the page will become far more dynamic, and offer more to people by combining the 2 blogs. It should be interesting.

There are still some changes to come... as I get the time and inclination to implement them.

There are also more galleries currently being uploaded, even though the gallery link has been missing from the site for the last few months.

Barker

Well I'm watching the video for DJ DJ by the Transplants at the moment and I was just wondering, is it just me or is that Travis Barker of Blink182 fame behind the drum kit?

Just a thought.

Well I feel like being violently ill

It's funny how that whole grapevine thing works. It's funny how you hear about things a couple of minutes after they happen, when really you shouldn't hear about them at all. At least that would be the opinion of the people involved.

I heard about something tonight (cryptic I know), which not only dissapoints me and makes me realize that I am not the judge I thought I was, but also makes me want to regurgitate my dinner in a violent manner. *shudder* This just shouldn't have happened, no matter the history or circumstances.

Arbness

Well I just shot into Salisbury today in order to drop off my phone for some more repairs. Because I knew I was only going to be there for about 10 minutes I reckoned I had 2 choices. Spend 80p on parking for 2 hours, while only being there for 10 minutes. Or park the car and leg it, hoping that I don't get fined. I chose the latter option.

Wrong choice.

Fuckit! I now owe the Salisbury District Council £60, or £30 if I pay within 2 weeks. Of course I'm going to pay withing 2 weeks! Jesus. Why the hell would I give away twice the amount of cash given the option? Still, sometimes I amaze even myself with the limits of idiocy I reach. It was only 80p, and then I wouldn't have had to worry about a thing. Anyway.

Here's an intersting site that I came across on TV last night. No more excuses not to have any at hand when the moment strikes now.

Today I feel like I've actually accomplished something. My tire is fixed. My watch has a new battery (it's been flat for like 2 months). My phone is being repaired. My gold chain (which was a present from my mom on my 21st, and one that she had worn for years before giving it to me) is fixed too. I think the chain was the most important thing to have sorted out. It has alot of sentimental value, and only one person has ever taken it off of my neck before. She also used to bite it at rather odd moments.

And that was another strangely disjointed post.

Chirp chirp

Well I was planning to get a whole lot done today. I need to book my car in for some work at Renault, as well as have a slow puncture fixed. I need to make an appointment with the optician too - my eye's are still playing up a bit. I need to send some snail mail. Take my phone in again to have it repaired (for the same reason I did the last time). Upload a number of albums to my site (which are so out of date already it's scary). Put a link on my site to my photo album.

But then I realized that South Africa and England are playing in the Natwest series at Edgbaston so now I'm just going to veg in front of the TV.

Did they just play Mandoza at Edgebaston? I think they did. How strange.

Just another nancy boy

Obscure header, I know, but I love Nancy Boy by Placebo and it's playing on Q at the moment.

Actually right now I'm chilling on my bed watching Kill Zone on National Geographic. It's a doccy about Great Whites that leap out of the water 'whale style' in order to catch seals. It's not really my thing but it was filmed in Cape Town, which is home. Sometimes I even make myself sick with how stupidly patriotic I can be. Then again maybe it's just home sickness.

Oh my sack. I swear, right now the idea of Chris and Damien coming over to the UK is just so damn good! I mean, I love the UK. I love the experiences I have here. And the people are alright I guess *wink*. The only thing I miss horribly about home is all the friends I have there. People that I have a history of good times with. And now some of them are heading over here, which is great. Hell, maybe even old Warrenski (actually don't follow that link, it's completely stagnant) will get his arse over here sometime. And then in true MeSkanky style, we will rock London to it's roots.

And then there's also the prospect of Tam and Cails coming over here for a short holiday during university vac. That will be wiiicked too.

At the moment I'm contemplating where to move career wise, and when. I was chatting to someone last night who pointed out to me that I have quite a bit of useful experience (something I guess I just hadn't really relaized yet). I think it's all a question of how you market that... and a bit of who you know. I think I'll be here for another few months still, at least until I've racked up 6 months experience in management.

Laters.

I can't do the splits

Right now I'm sitting in bed, farting around on my laptop, banging out an e-mail to Nat... just feeling wholly relaxed really. It's about a quarter past six in the evening and I've also just finished watching About a Boy, after meaning to for months (the book is definitely in my top 10 all time favourite novels list). What's really pissing me off though is that in 40 minutes I'm going to have to drag my comfortable arse out of bed, get back into a shirt and tie and go back to work. Why? Because for 4 out of 5 working days I have to work split shifts... the bane of my existence.

Anyone who has worked splits will understand the sheer amount of time management skill you require to get anything out of your day. They're driving me completely nuts at the moment. I would much rather be finishing work now knowing that I have the rest of the evening off, rather than to finish after lunch knowing that I have to go back to the grind at 7 and working through till around midnight. It's a completely fucking depressing thought.

Well Chris and Damien should be heading over to London shortly, which will probably result in me moving back to the city after that. Hopefully to something more intellectually stimulating that what I do currently. And something with humane working hours. It's not the number of hours that I work, which happens to be quite a few actually, that pisses me off. I'm not afraid of long hours at all (fuck, I do them for free at the moment). Oh no, it's the pants distribution of them that grates me.

Anyways. Enough griping.

Blah blah boring blah

I just got back from Bruce Almighty. It was pretty pants (ie. average and not the type of thing you need to go watch at the cinema). If you saw the trailers then you saw most of the funny bits. Plus it got too serious toward the end and wrecked the whole comedy thing it had going.

Thanks to Adrian for letting me know that Haloscan have opened up registrations again for their comments system. I am now registered and will [hopefully] get the system up and live on my posts. As I have mentioned previously it has come to my attention that there may be a need for a method of feedback. The current incarnation of this site lacks that previously famous guestbook appendage, which ended up more like a forum than a guestbook. Will try to sort it all out. Don't hold your breath though, this type of thing NEVER works first time for me.

Divide by Zero

My long time mate Chris has recently acquired the dividebyzero.co.za domain. I recommend you bookmark it now for future reference, it's guaranteed to become something interesting.

Off to watch Bruce Almighty with Sarah now. We seem to have managed to salavaged a bit of a friendship... I'm really stoked about that.

PS. How fucking good are The Darkness hey! I may just have to buy the album.

Fucked... soothed by Silverchair

Fucking hell. It's just gone midnight and I just came off the back of a 15 hour shift at work. Somewhere back there was a 10 minute break around lunchtime but it's long gone. This is the dedication that I give to my work... which pays peanuts in return... but the perks are good. The only thing that's making it ok right now though is the fact that there's a Silverchair mini-doccy on MTV2 at the moment (even if Gonzo does piss the hell out of me. Can't they get someone intelligent or at least coherent to host the show? Even funny would help a bit).

It must be said that the scraggly beard that Daniel Johns has sprouting out of his face is a bad look (the show that I'm watching might not be all that up to date though... I admit that). Shit, Natalie (Imbruglia this time) must be apalled by it.

Anyways. I left my windows open and my light on while at work. Oops. My room now literally resembles a zoo for moths. I've taken photo's of some of the more exotic lookking bugs but can't be bothered right now to resize them and post them up. Maybe tomorrow. But my FTP client has expired too. Rats.

Bitching

Well I just drove 45 miles (because I live in the sticks) only to find that the cinema I went to was already full for Bruce Almighty. Next time I’ll call in advance. On my way back I had one of those experiences that is just so endemic to rural England. I was meandering my way back on some country lane at a pretty respectable 60 mph (you need to see what English lanes are like to appreciate them) when I come around a blind corner (bear in mind 60mph is about 98 km/h) to find a great big SUPERSIZE tractor 20 meters in front of me, lumbering along at about 5 mph with it’s hedge trimming arm out. I practically stood on the brakes to stop in time. The funny thing is that I would expect that kind of thing to occur in South Africa (don’t get me wrong, I’m a patriot through and through) but after living in England for almost a year now I expect there to be some kind of warning sign placed down so that I’m aware of the slow moving vehicle in front of me.

Jeez. Talk about bitching.

Redesign

Even in spite of all the tension in the air at the moment, I have actually come up with a decent header that I'm quite happy with, and which fits in with the idea for the future of this site. I'm a bit of a slacker when it comes to redesigns and I work in bits. I'm trying to find colours that work right now, after which I just need to work out how I will incorporate the navigation into the site, and then I will try to upload the whole lot and get the damn thing done.

But you'll have to way until I'm feeling it.

Inspirational void

I just don't know what the hell I can write about that's interesting anymore. I seem to be spent of any energy to dedicate toward artistic expression. It's a horrible feeling. My life back in South Africa seemed to be full of so much to write about that I was never short of words. I think this new problem is a product of either one of four things.

1) Back in SA I was at uni and therefore spent most of my time and money getting incredibly drunk and doing outrageous things (like crashing Fear Factor film shoots to skinny dip in front of like 100 people).

2) I'm spending almost all my time working at the moment (and paying off a credit card... oops) and thus I have little time or money to spend on interesting and blog-worthy escapades. All work and no play makes Ian a dull boy... apparently. The good news about this option is that the the card will be paid off on friday, which will loosen up a few things in my life. It's good to be able to see the light at the end of that tunnel.

3) I know live in the sticks (Shaftesbury, Dorset) which means little entertainment and small minded people (for the most part - I have met a few exceptions and even dated one). I just don't get the way people party here. I don't know (my favourite saying at the moment, I use to to explain just how little I seem to know about my life currently). Going to the pub on a saturday is all fine, but not what I would call a good night out. But then neither is Legends, which the closest night club to me. Right now I just miss the pulse of London. A return to the Church with Adrian is a neccesity right now (maybe we'll even have Chris and Damien in tow by then as they're both heading over here soon. There's a few things I still need to sort out, and then I will be looking to move back to the city one way or the other. Either I move there by seeking another position in my current field, or I actually start some kind of career track (which I need to do really) and start using my brain a bit again. Sarah and I have both come to the conclusion that work here is a bit menial really. Anyone know of any high paying Client Services positions in funky advertising agencies that are available right now? I reckon I'd be damn good at it.

4) I'm just getting old and boring. This is my least favourite option. It's the one furthest from the truth I would think (and hope).

What else is there to write about really. There's always the Natalie and I saga. I could give you my opinion, just to put it out there and all. Most of you that read this site will know the background already and will have read that she's rethinking alot of things regarding us at the moment. Well here is my rebuttal.

She had better think up, and fast. I cannot continue to hold her in the light that I am now, as the only person I see myself being with in the long term, if things from her side aren't also concrete in that respect. My life is hard enough as it is (as I'm sure hers is too) because of our history and feelings for each other. I've sacrificed for this 'thing' that's between us. She's sacrificed for it. But right now it's still a solid belief from my side, and if that's not the same for her... well you work it out.

Aside: England are 32 for 4 against Zimbabwe. Go Zim you beauties!

It's funny the things that come back to you from people you don't know regarding your blog. Something just came to from from 'Meneer' Sevitz, which came to him from someone who reads my blog (yeah, I know I need to sort out some comments fields). Apparently there's a lady out there who wants to know why Natalie and I don't just date already considering we're obviously both 'dippy' about each other. Well the only real problem is the 13000kms of salt water and African continent between us right now. It didn't work while we where 800kms apart, so I don't think it would work now. Which is the big problem really, and why I manage to hurt the people that I do. I have now fucked up 2 relationships because of this. God only know I don't seem to learn from my mistakes.

Ah well, that's enough for now. If this post sounds all mean and bitter, well it's not supposed to. I just wrote it as I thought it. Although I am a tad mad at Nat right now.