Moving is expensive

I have to cancel my Pipex broadband service when I move. Why? Because apparently they can't just transfer it to a new number. Cancellation charge = £60.

I then have to sign up for it again on the new number, which they have kindly agreed to do for free as I am moving home and wish to stay with them as an ISP. Now that was nice... except that if I want to upgrade to the 1 meg line then they are going to charge me a connection fee. Considering I'll be sharing the connection 3 ways, 1 meg is the only real option. Reconnection to 1 meg line = £40.

I've also bought my car outright from the bank so that I can shed the direct debit on my account. Outstanding payment = $1595.

Cancelled my cars insurance effective from 1 week yesterday. Will probably will incur a penalty charge of 1 months cover for cancelling inside the first year. Insurance charge = £49.

Had to put down a deposit on the new flat. Rent deposit = £200.

Also had to pay the rent for 1 month. Rent = £303.

I'm too scared to tally all of that up, and the only real comfort I'm getting at the moment is that I know I will get the money back from the car once it's been sold.

Post publish: Please publish properly this time

More on the crap quality of service from Phones 4 U

I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't label my articles in a way that describes them appropriately. Obviously this effects the way search engines link to my site. For instance, my second post in this ongoing struggle with Phones 4 U was labelled "The Saga Continues". So really, if anyone were looking for reviews on quality of service amongst mobile phone providers in the UK the chances of them finding a link to my post are negligible. So hence forth I will attempt to use words in my posts and headers that actually indicate what they're about... thus making Foolstop.za.net a more 'out there' site. Or something. Here's my reply to their reply to my second letter of complaint that stemmed from their reply to my first letter of complaint in which I was offered a replacement handset if mine couldn't be repaired at the third (THIRD!) attempt.

Spot poll. Am I the only one that thinks I'm being reasonable here? Do you agree with my complaint or disagree with it? And try be serious... for once in your mangy mongrel lives : P

Hi *****.
Look, I'm quite ready to try and work something out here where we're both happy. I believe that I've been mistreated after chasing this phone problem around for 7 months only to have you refuse me a replacement - ESPECIALLY when I've been told at a previous stage that if the phone couldn't be repaired at the third attempt then it WOULD be replaced. If your department keeps a log of the e-mail that it sends then the date that I was sent the mail promising a replacement was the 5th of September 2003. I must admit to being stunned into disbelief that your company has reneged on a previous agreement with me.

Still, maybe there is another way to work this out. I can accept the offer that you have made in the attached e-mail under the condition that you cancel my T-Mobile subscription immediately and without me incurring any negative consequences or charges. That will then free me up to open another contract (through a different mobile provider unfortunately) and get a replacement phone that way. I refuse to have to buy a new phone while still in this contract when I've already paid for a working one. If the fault with the handset was through something I had done then I could accept that, but it isn't. The phone has never been dropped or banged, never gotten wet, and has always been kept in a Body Glove neoprene pouch. The very nature of the error indicates that it's probably more a problem with the phones software or it's flash bios, especially as the antenna, speaker, and microphone have all already been replaced.

If for whatever reason you are unable to cancel my contract on the above terms, thus meaning I have to continue paying T-Mobile for the contracted period, then I have one other idea. You could add to the refund you have already offered me the sum of £40, which covers the cost of travelling 160 miles to get my phone repaired. This would be the three attempts to have the phone repaired and the final trip to pay the courier charge so that the handset wasn't destroyed (from Shaftesbury to Salisbury is 40 miles, and multiplied by 4 makes that 160 miles). The AA website (www.theaa.com) works the actual cost out at 32p a mile, which amounts to £51. However, If I work it out at 25p a mile it comes to the amount of £40. I can then use this money, plus the amount already offered, to pay off the rest of the contracted period to T-Mobile in a lump sum, which will then allow me to take out a new contract with a different service provider.

Neither of these are ideal options for me, but if you can't replace my broken handset then I find them acceptable. Really they're all just a means to the same end... a working mobile phone to replace the faulty one I currently have.
Sincerely,
Ian Wilson

The end of the world

I laughed so much I almost wee'd when I watched this (needs sound). Thanks... again.

Can you even believe it? Squirrel Monkeys (thanks Adrian) would be a complement to these guys.

Our ref: SH/****/F
13 November 2003

Dear Mr Wilson

I write with regard to your email dated 12th November, concerning your mobile telephone.

I can confirm that I have spoken to the Mobile Phone Repair Centre and they have advised that they have not been able to find the fault with the handset. This does not mean that there is not a fault, only that the repair centre were unable to reproduce the perceived fault.

Regrettably, in light of the above information we are unable to replace the handset for you. We are happy to assist in the payment of the £11.75 requested, however, due to the length of time that the handset has been at the repair centre we are unable to raise a purchase order from here, as this will not reach the repair centre in time to have the handset returned. The handset, is due to be destroyed on Sunday 16th November.

If you would like the handset returned, please make this payment, we will then reimburse you the money. Unfortunately, if you are unable to make this payment before Sunday the handset will be disposed of and Phones 4u will not be held liable, as you have been made aware.

Although, we are unable to replace the handset, we would like to offer a further cheque for the sum of £43.75, this is for two months line rental and the £11.75 payment in order to compensate you for the length of time that the handset has been away.

If you would like to accept this offer, please contact our Customer Service Team on 0870 906 1830, within the next 14 days, otherwise I will consider this matter closed to your satisfaction and adjust our records accordingly.

Yours sincerely
For Phones 4u Ltd

Check back later for my reply (I have to get myself to the correct level of red misted, frothy mouthed fury before I can write to them).

The saga continues

Oh yes, it's true. I am still fighting with Phones 4 U regarding the T68i I bought way back in February. They have finally broken me down by sheer force of shit service and ignorance and I have been forced to write a second letter. This time there will be zero tolerance from me, and a nice phone from them. Thank you.

I've written to you previously to complain about a faulty handset which had come back to me on two occasions after repair with the same fault still prevalent. Your reply was a much appreciated gesture of goodwill by means of a small refund on my contract, and the promise that if my problem wasn't resolved at the third attempt then my handset would be replaced. Unfortunately the problem has still not been resolved, and has instead developed further.

The original problem began with a fault that my handset developed a couple of months after I purchased it from your store in Salisbury (a Sony-Ericsson T68i on a 12 month T-Mobile contract). The phone began to drop it signal in mid-call on a regular occassion, and often, despite a signal bar that indicated a full strength signal, it would refuse to connect a call, instead displaying a message of 'No Access' across the screen.. I took it back to the store that I purchased it from in Salisbury to try and get it replaced, which I thought was reasonable as it was only 2 months old. At the store I was told that they could unfortunately not replace the handset as the replacement option was only valid for the first month after purchase. I was offered the alternative option of sending it in for repairs, free of charge, to which I agreed under the impression that when it came back it would be in 100% working condition. Unfortunately shortly after the handset came back from repair the same fault started up again, much to my own annoyance and inconvienience. Although slightly miffed at the prospect of having to travel to Salisbury again on a phone repair errand I chose to take it back and attempt the repair option a second time.

At this point things began to take a turn for the worse. I was told that, at the outside, the phone would be in for repair for a month, which, although it was a lengthy period of time to be without a mobile device, I agreed to. Unfortunately this month long repair window proved to be inaccurate and after 4 weeks I called the store for some news. It was still in for repair. A week later it was also still in. Finally, after six weeks of repairs I was contacted and told that the phone was ready to be picked up.

That same afternoon that I picked up the phone from store, for the second time, I discovered to my complete disbelief that the phone was behaving in exactly the same way it had before, and thus that it was still completely useless to me as a communication device. It was at this point that I wrote my first letter to you.

Now I can't remember the name of the person who dealt with my complaint at that stage but he offered me a two month refund on my contract, which I thought was a thoughtful gesture, and told me that the Phones 4 U policy was that the handset couldn't be replaced until repairs had been attempted three times. "Fair enough," I thought, and I took the phone back to the store for repairs... again. Yet again I was told that the phone could be in for repairs for anything up to a month, which I said was ok, believing that I had just been unlucky the previous time.

That brings me to today, two and a half months after I sent the phone in. Following repeated calls to your store to find out if my phone was available I finally got someone to track it down for me. The story that I got is this: the phone was sent away to the usual repair agents (I don't know who they are) where the fault couldn't be found, after which it was sent to another location for a second opinion, where the fault still couldn't be found. At no stage was I contacted and told why the phone was away for so long, or that it was being sent to another party.

Now I find, to my disgust, that I have to pay a £12 courier charge to get the phone back, or else it will be destroyed. This is the same phone that has been in for repair THREE times and is obviously still faulty. Now there is no way on earth that I am going to pay anything to get back a phone which has given me nothing but hassle since shortly after I bought it, and which the repair company admit to not being able to fix. There is a very real fault with that particular handset, and if it can't be repaired then I strongly believe that it should be replaced (to which end I really don't care if they do destroy it). I have now endured months of inconvienience and annoyance in the hope that this would be sorted out, and unfortunately I find that my treatment at the hands of your company has been nothing short of abysmal. I understand that the phones are sent away to a third party for repairs, and as such the actual repair of the handset it not your business, but the contract I entered into was with Phones 4 U and because of that it is to you that I have to come back to in order to sort this out. To make matters worse this case has become urgent. I have a car for sale and am in the middle moving home, and this, coupled with the fact that I no longer have access to the phones that I have been borrowing in order to keep my private life and my business running, means that I need this sorted out very very soon. I will be away in London from from today (the 12th of November) for business and personal reasons and I would like this all resolved by Friday when I get back.

This particular phone has been giving me problems since May, when I first sent it in for repairs, and I would like it to be replaced with a handset that is currently of the same stature as the T68i was in the Sony-Ericsson range when I bought it in February. I believe this to be a completely reasonable request as I've been paying a contract fee for the past ten months, while in fact I've actually only had hassle-free use of my phone for about 3 of those months. In this period technology has advanced and I actually haven't had the pleasure of use of a phone that I purchased largely because of it's many advanced features. I have looked at the current Sony-Ericsson range and it appears that the obvious replacement for the T68i is the newer T610, which I would be happy with. Alternatively you could offer me a choice of phones you think are suitable, and of the same technological specifications, and I will let you know if I think your offer is reasonable. I should also tell you that I don't want the phone to be replaced on the condition that I renew my contract for another year as my experience to date in this contract has been terrible and I am dubious as to whether it will improve over the next few months or not. If it does then I would be happy to renew it when it runs out in February, but if continues in the same vein then I don't need the frustration of being locked into a poor-service contract for another year. The onus is now on you to prove to me that you are capable of delivering a service which provides a reasonable measure of customer satisfaction.

If I find that my treatment is this regard is any more lacking than it has been to date I will simply cancel the direct debit on my account, and when T-Mobile, as my service provider, question me as to why it was cancelled I will point them in the direction of Phones 4 U. I understand that none of my this has anything to do with T-Mobile, but I purchased the phone as part of a contract package from Phones 4 U and I believe that it is your responsibility to ensure your side of the contract is upstanding - in other words that I have a working handset in order to use the service that I am paying for. If part of the package is not being provided then I fail to see what I have been paying for these past months.

I apologise if the tone of this e-mail is somewhat on the aggressive side, but I have now been dealing with this matter for what I (as a very VERY understanding and reasonable person, I can assure you) regard as far too long now and it needs to be resolved immediately. Your understanding and prompt action in this matter would be greatly appreciated. In order for you to track my complaint to date I have included the details of the three repair incidents at the bottom of this message.

Sincerely,
Ian Wilson

Mobile Number: 0795*******
Date of purchase: 11/02/03
Make/Model of Phone: Ericsson T68i
Original invoice number: ******
IMEI number: *****************

First repair:
Date: 03/05/03
Invoice number: 41729

Second repair:
Date: 09/07/03
Invoice number: 41755

Third repair:
Date: 05/09/03
Invoice number: 41779

Are you on the bus?

Came across this video of Neal Cassady driving 'the bus' full of Merry Pranksters on some or other Prankster tour in 1964. You can tell is he's tripping his tits off by the amount of bull that's he's talking.

It's complete arb nonsense, but I thought the link would be interesting.

If you don't know who Neal Cassady is, or the Merry Pranksters, or Ken Kesey... I'm too busy to write it all down. That's what google's for. Alternatively read The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

Arse

South Africa play New Zealand in a couple of hours in the first of the Rugby World Cup quarter finals and I've just realized that my whole Sony Wega experience is sitting with Chris, Damien, Dale and Alastair in Wandsworth at the new flat.

So again. Arse!

Now say it with me. ARSE!

Do you feel that? Arse. Arse. Arse.

I've alway's said that you can't be TOO good at anything

Not that I've had any complaints or anything... and I did just totally stumble across this link after reading the Sewer Mag (nice to see some update'age again Acid! Now teach the Rusian Spy please).

Thanks to Adrian for this

Subject: The English Fan

On tour in Australia, the Pope took a few days off to visit the east coast
for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile
when there was a frantic commotion just off-shore.

A helpless man, wearing an English rugby jersey, was struggling frantically
to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in
horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing Springbok rugby
jerseys.

One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while the other two
reached out and pulled the blue semiconscious English fan from the water..
Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into
the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned the men to him. "I give you my
blessing for your brave actions. I heard that there were some bitter hatred
between South African and English rugby fans, but now I have seen with my
own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope" one replied.

"Well" the harpooner said, "Whoever he is, he doesn't know anything about
shark fishing. Is the bait holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"

Before I leave

I've just been down to the brewery to drop off some outstanding paperwork from my relief at the Mitre and on the way back I timed myself. Home to work, at a brisk walk, is bang on 30 minutes. Now that's pretty convienient I reckon.

While I was in the area I also dropped in to see Jules and Joan, who I'll be working with up here. Everything was fine, except for that whole being complete stangers thing. I think the hardest thing about moving is going in to work and not knowing anyone. That in turn is made worse by being senior to most of the people that will be working with me. No one likes to be bossed around by a stranger. Not that I boss people around to much! I am pretty firm though. Things should be done properly at all times, and EVERYONE needs to pull their weight. That's my mission statement, in a nutshell.

Anyways. I have to unload the rest of my stuff and drive back to shaftesbury now. Ciao.

Postards from the edge

Well actually it's just a blog from Wandsworth, but anyways.

If you've been following this site for anything close to a reasonable amount of time then you'll know that I've been looking to move back to London for the last couple of months now. Not because I hate the country [that much] but rather because I'm a city boy, born and bred, and I've missed all the things that come with living there. As luck would have it a room in an apartment with 2 of my best mates opened up a couple of weeks ago and I snapped up the opportunity to move. Even luckier was the fact that I found work in the city just a mile and a half from home, with head office just a bit further down the road (which as far as I'm concerned means that I can go make myself known there, thus leading to even more promotions, which will hopefully at some stage lead to a mon - fri work week... but lets not get ahead of ourselves here.

Last night was my first in the new place in London and already I feel better for the move. The view of the city from the massive windows is breathtaking, and I spent part of last night just watching the fireework displays going off all around the city ('remember remember the 5th of November?'). Being with 2 such good friends again adds even more to the experience. After today I will be heading back to Shaftesbury for the final 2 weeks of my notice period, after which I will be at 36 Andrew Reed House on more permanent basis.

It gives you wiiings

As my two weeks of relief management draws to a close tonight I find myself coming to a couple of new conclusions. Most importantly I've discovered that it is actually quite possible to remain a functioning adult being, capable of running a business, without eating solid substances of any kind. It is actually possible to function on a diet comprising solely of Red Bull - and I kid you not folks, I am living proof that my postulation is completely true and unequivocally undeniable. I myself have remained 100% functional while abstaining from food (ie. not having enough time to eat a proper meal) for the past 3 days. I admit to itermittent inexplicable bouts of shaking, visual disruption, and disorientation... but I put that down to sleep deprivation...

I've also discovered a new passion for pub/bar management and have formulated a bit of a plan with regards to this. More about that at another time.

I need to play my PS2 a bit and e-mail some people.

Jingle *sob*

16 hours a day,
16 hours a day,
16 hours a day at work means I don't have time to play.

Multiply that by 5 and you get 80. That's an 80 hour work week. So don't blame me if I get ratty when people moan I don't communicate enough anymore! And that's not just aimed at one person either... there's a couple of you stressing me out at the moment. So here's a deal - when I get enough time to sleep properly again, then I'll start writing properly again. Otherwise you're going to find a big "Fuck You" award on this page too.

Apologies for the attitude.

Later.

Ed: Make that a 105 hour work week - I forgot to take into account that I haven't had a day off in 2 weeks.