Flake

I've been back in South Africa for 2 days and I'm already burt to a crisp. God it's good to be home!

Don't expect too many updates... I'm busy with my beer. And my sun. And my beaches. Mwahahahaaa.

PS. Why the hell would anyone choose to leave this country?! It's glorious. You really couldn't ask for more.

Completely Tasteless

Found this via Belle de Jour.

I will be laughing all through today. This is my kind of humour.

On a completely different note. Two days and counting before I fly off home to sunny South Africa for a MUCH needed 3 week holiday to recoup before returning to London and throwing myself whole heartedly into the job market. Of course the fact that I am sitting my licensing exam toward the end of MArch means that if I do decide to completely bum out in the near future I could always open my own 'offie' on the corner and spend all day selling Special Brew to bums on the corner and making loads of new Pakistani friends.

Hey, it's an option.

SPAM BLAM THANK YOU M'AM

It's been a good 18 months for my current e-mail address, bit I've just received my first offical spam. Rats.

FROM THE DIRECTOR
AUDIT AND ACCOUNTS UNIT,
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.,
ECOBANK COT0NOU,
REPUBLIC OF BENIN
WEST AFRICA.

STRICTLY PERSONAL & CONFIDENTIAL
Dear sir

With due honour and respect ,i am David Okoro,the director in charge of audit and account unit,foreign remittance dept.of the ECOBANK,COTONOU, REPUBLIC OF BENIN IN
WEST AFRICA.I got your impressive information through my good friend who works with chamber of commerce on foreign business relations here in Cotonou-Benin. It is him
who recommended your person to me to be viable and capable to champion a business of such magnitude without any problem, and i decided to contact you for beneficial and a 100% risk-free business transaction .

During our auditing and investigations in this bank, my department came across the sum of SIX MILLION,FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES
DOLLARS(US$6,520,000.00)only belonging to a japanese international business man who died along with his family on the 01 FEB 1997 in a plane crash, the aircraft name is
Hawker Siddeley HS-748-353 Srs. 2A

... yadda yadda yadda...

On conclusion of this transsaction, you will be entitled to 25% of the total sum as gratification, 5%of the total sum will be used to reinburse expenses that might arise from telephone bills and other expenses during the transaction, while 70% will
be for me and my partners here. Please you have been adviced to keep top secret as we are still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this with you.

I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account. We then come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to the percentages indicated above, and for investment in any country you may advice us to invest.

All other necessary information will be sent to you when i hear from you. I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible, stating your wish .


REPLY ASAP.
With regards,
David Okoro.
ALTERNATIVE E/ADDRESS:david_014@accountant.com

Just for intrests sake I actually googled for the aircraft details.

Of course it's still a load of crap. I hope.

Post final interview

I didn't really know if I wanted to publish anything about my final interview. Although I know there's nothing wrong or embarrassing about not getting a job you apply for, I still can't help but feel it'll be a personal failure of some sort if I don't get it. Hence no one really knew I was actually going for it (until now). Anyway, I woke up this morning with nothing to do before work so I decided to let you all know that I'd been to the interview, and that I'm currently awaiting the result. I should get it in the next 24 hours or so.

I think the biggest reason I'm happy to write about the whole thing now is that I know, whether I get the position or not, I gave it a really good crack. I feel the whole thing went really well. I was able to answer his questions intelligently and I even managed to get my point across... you know, where I try to persuade him to hire someone with no marketing experience but is going cheap, as opposed to someone with oodles of experience but who's going to want ten grand a year more than me.

I think I only made 2 faux pas really. First up I spilt coffee all down my leg before we even started the interview. God, I still cringe in shame at that one. And it's just so typically me. Somehow I always manage to find the dumbest thing to do and the worst time to do it. The second blunder: when I was leaving I thanked him for giving me the chance at the position, which was polite I thought. But instead of saying 'Thank you' I, unthinkingly, reverted to Saffer lingo and said 'Shot'.

ARG!

Still, like I said, I thought it went well. I'm happy with the way my pitch went. So now I'm just sitting back to await the result. Hold thumbs.

Post script: It was a good pitch... but I didn't get the position. Obviously I'm disappointed, but not too much. It was a good opportunity and I gave it a good go, so really there's not much more I could have done. I live to fight another day.

Reunion

Oh my gawd! This is the most depressing things I've seen for a while now. I would have... or will... kill for these right now. This is just one of the many things I love about living in London. Or shall I say 'would love' if I could get my hands on some.

Post script: I would kill for these tickets. But there's no way I'm paying £180 for them.

Formula 1

With the new season due to start in March I've been trying to catch up on news from the paddock, and from my own team, Williams. The most radical thing I've seen so far is the nose of the new FW26, which has been sparking controversy all over the sport. It also looks like the new BMW P83 is set to break all existing engine records, and again the Bavarian based outifts engine looks to be setting the benchmark for the sport.

You can be sure I'll be glued to the television on the 7th of March, when the first race of the season commences, perched on the edge of that familiar cream leather sofa in Cape Town with a bottle of Castle in my hand and my family around me. Could I ask for more?

Sighting

Oh my God! I saw Samuel L. Jackson in London yesterday! He was riding the 170 between Wandsworth and Southfields disguised as a bum.

Putting the *FUN* back in funerals

God I've been trying to get this photo for a long time! For months now I've been walking past this neon sign and laughing at the irony of the missing lights, but as soon as I'd take my camera down to work with me to get a photo the bloke would leave the sign turned off. And as Sod's Law would have it, whenever I forgot my camera the sign would be back on. Last night I forgot my camera at work and maybe that fucked with Sod's mojo a bit... you know, like I never took it to work but when I went home I had it... because when I walked to the bus stop, with my camera, the sign was finally on.

Mission accomplished. I feel better now.

Ctrl - Alt - Del

The father of that rather famous key stroke combination retired a couple of days ago. Just thought you might be intrested to know. As far as I'm concerned it's still the best answer to all the crap Windows gives me.

...but not when I'm working in Chris's machine. Promise.

*eeek. last minute save*

Hazard Warning

You see, this is what happens when you buy your clothes from non-firedepartment approved stores - one miss-ash of your cigarette and you could go up in flames! I hope you've all learnt your lesson! Now I just need to some use for this inflammable item of clothing. I mean, surely I can't wear them? Pffft.

Anyways, less than 2 weeks now till my holiday! God I can't wait for that. Both to see everyone back home again as well as to get away from my draining 6 day work week. I see myself spending much time lying next to the pool drinking Castle. Ahhhh.