Relax... don't do it

Wow. Tomorrow spells the first time in 5 months that I get to have 2 days off in a week. The idea of that alone feels like a fucking holiday right now! Other news in brief is that my Dashboard tickets are bought and paid for and should be arriving in the post soon. And finally, I too have enquired into booking a [late] place for the upcoming Monopoly Pub Crawl V on the 22nd (the idea is to have a drink at a pub on every street of the London Edition Monopoly board). Hopefully 'Tim' is still taking bookings because I reckon this will be one MASSIVE laugh.

I'm still trying to convince myself that I should be doing something drastic with these 2 days coming up. I don't know, go see some sights or something. Unfortunately though, I think I'll be spending my time at home in nervous anticipation of the post flap clanging with the days delivery. You see, I find out whether I go through to the next and final stage of the interview process, for the recently applied for position, sometime in the middle of the week. For some reason, although I went into the interview full of confidence and came out quite confused about exactly how it went, I've resigned myself to some kind of strange ambivalence. I think it's a bit of a defence really... I'll be able to brush off rejection far easier that way (if I need to). And if rejection is what I'll have to resign myself too, at least I have the [small] consolation of knowing I went through into the final 25% before droppping out. Although technically that's like getting the 15th question on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire wrong and losing everything. You'd be bummed then too.

Other news, which should have been mentioned days ago but wasn't, is that Oleanna at the Garrick Theatre in Leicester Square was stupendously amazingly brilliant! Thanks to a mixture of great writing, unbelievable acting, and 3rd row seats, Oleanna is by far my favourite theatre experience to date. To see actors like Aaron Eckhart, and especially Julia Stiles, acting right in your face is moving on an almost spiritual level. Never in my wildest dreams did I think anyone could be so convincing when viewed from so close and without special effects. It's not something I can explain, but watching the subtleness, the smallest of nuances, which convey the characters authenticity... just phenomenal. I recommend Oleanna to anyone, whether you think you like theatre or not. The brillance of the cast could convert the most hardcore blockbuster fan. One negative did arise from the experience though... I don't know if a woman crying will ever have the same effect on me ever again. Seeing Julia Stiles smiling at the end of the final scene as she took her bows, with the tears she'd faked just seconds before still running down her cheeks, has finally convinced me that women can (and do) fake tears to get their own way. I will not be tricked by the Apple-wielding temptress again!

But my parting shot is this: Why do the English youth feel the need to gob on the sidewalk?! It's disgusting. What? Do they think they're on the footie pitch? I don't get it.

DC in London

Well after months of waiting, Dashboard Confessional are coming to London. Tickets are on sale now for their August gig... and I'll be purchasing soon. I'll probably be going alone, as I don't really know anyone else that digs the band enough to go to a gig. Now if only Natalie was here already...

Interview day

It seems that the day has finally arrived. In a few minutes I'm heading off to Weybridge in Surrey for the first of hopefully two interviews, which hopefully (again) will see me into a new job. I'm suited, booted, and pretty confident going into this. What I'll feel like coming out afterward is still open to speculation.

You'd best all be holding thumbs for me (especially around the 13:30 UK time mark)!

TNT

I try to read the TNT magazine whenever I can for little gems like these...

May 3, 2004 - Toys "R" Pus (ideas that have bombed with the kids)

George Bushes Weapons of Mass Destruction Hide and Seek: Even five-year-olds worked out pretty early on that, no matter how hard they looked, there were no weapons to find.

Pauline Hanson's Asian Guess Who: The object was to deduce who your opponents character was by asking questions about their appearance. Made harder by the fact that they all looked the same.

Micheal Jacksons Neverland Slumber Kit: The gloved one took a hands-on interest in creating this replica of his "funnest place on earth", however the kids weren't impressed when they opened the box to find two bottles of vodka, a pornographic video, inflatable bed and a blank cheque.

Jonny Wilkinson Action Figure: The plastic no. 10 was a personality based on the hero. He was fun to play with for two weeks, then his shoulder broke and he was useless for 8 months.

April 26, 2004 - Desperately Seeking (a page dedicated to helping you contact people)

Phillip from Richmond: We had a crazy time in Mulligans, Murphy's, and Banana's. Give me a call before I end up marrying a Shrek. Fiona.

I met you on the nightbus: You got off with me at Elephant and Castle. We clicked immediately. I had a great night and would be really keen to meet up with you again and take things to the next level. You didn't give me your name, but you were a beautiful little man. Please e-mail me if you would like to meet up again. All I have to remember you by is the little pile of druff you left on my pillow. If you're still keen, e-mail [removed].

Searching for Ancois Lombaard: My name is Pieter Potgieter. I met you at the Southfield sokkie two weeks ago. Your big baby-brown eye's totally seduced me, I really enjoyed dancing with you and would like to do that again this weekend. Please contact me at [removed].


The TNT regularly reduces me to tears of laughter with the wit and irony it displays... not to mention the contributors.

Space Invaders

Oh yeah. You know it. You loved it. You'll want it again. A PC port of the original 1978 Space Invaders... the game I give credit to for making me a 'joystick junkie'.

Blaze them little green rascals!

Mixed

Well it's about to turn 20:00 and I'm still trying to shed the hangover from last night. I've been through water, Irn Brew, and milk with no relief yet. I've now moved onto litchi juice, which seems to be yielding the best results yet (although having said that it could also just be that my abused kidneys have finally managed to filter enough of my blood to bring me back down to a modicum of normality).

It was good to get out last night though. After work I headed out to the Boathouse in Putney Bridge with H, where we had a few drinks before being joined by Lauren (H's better half). I should have know that the night would spiral beyond the 'couple of quiet pints' that it was supposed to be when we found that the bar was so busy it was more worth our while to buy 2 rounds of drinks at a time to save on the service period. The pub itself is stunning, situated right next to the Thames on the west side of the river, and sporting a large paved square outside the glass-fronted entrance, which is just perfect for lazing in the sun. In some respects it's very 'Cape Town'.

We were also spoiled with a display of Capoeira (martial arts ala Eddie Gordo style) in the square, which was incredible to watch. It comes across as a strange mix of conventional martial arts, break dancing, and gymnastics. Whatever it's official definition, it's an art that takes incredible strength and agility. I was well impressed with what I saw.

After the pub we headed to Lauren and H's place for some late night, and rather drunk, Grand Tourismo 3 showdows (I kicked ass), which was where I woke up this morning. I was hanging like an absolute dog, and looking like a rather dirty little stopout I imagine, when I headed home at 8am this morning... so that I could get back to work at 10.

Do you see? This is the sordid life of hedonistic abandon that I lead. It's wild I tell you!

Currently though, I'm basking in a 3 hour playlist made up exclusively of Queen tracks, and trying my damndest not to burst out and start singing along with it.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLASH GORDON APPROACHING? OPEN FIRE!"

But right now my lyric of choice has got to be...

"Around 'ere we say birds, not bitches"

From The Streets - Let's Push Things Forward.

Renault se ma se...

As Murphy would have it, two days before someone wants to come look at my car... the battery gives up. As a bloke I reckoned this was no big deal. You know, I can change my own oil, water, brake fluid, and battery (amongst other things).

Then again, as they say, "Assumption is the mother of all #U@K&PS."

After two days, three socket spanners, a screwdriver, and a call to a Renault garage for instructions, the battery has finally been changed. It was one of those fixit attempts where I had the two socket sizes on either side of the size that I actually needed. Twice.

But it's done now.