Check out

One of my favourite advances of recent years is the addition of self-checkout tills at major shopping chains. There is very little, for me, quite as pleasing as finishing my shopping (which is usually only a single basket anyway), skipping the queues, and popping to the self-checkout till. Here I can scan, pack, and pay for my items all without having to wait like a spare wheel while someone performs the basic task of zapping the barcodes past the scanner for me.

However [you bastards] do not attempt to use the self checkout aisle before you have grasped the fundamental idea behind barcodes and how they work. And especially not if you happen to be the fucking muppet standing in the queue in front of me!

Yesterday I watched a complete wanker (who was in front of me in the queue!) waste 10 minutes struggling to scan half a basket of items before giving up, putting them all back into the basket and waddling off to the normal aisle - the one for stupid people. The electronic voice screaming at him to 'PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG' didn't even make a scratch on the impervious fortress of his ineptitude. Today I watched a woman look at the machine for 2 minutes, then scan an item, which she kept hold of until the electronic voice told her to put it in the damn bag. So she put it in the damn bag. And then scanned another item... without bagging it. Fuck sakes lady! 'PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG!' And so she did. And then scanned another one. WITHOUT PUTTING IT IN THE BAG! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Thankfully, just before I committed murder in Tesco, her 5 year old son pushed her out the way and proceeded to scan and bag the items in record time. Scan, bag. Scan, bag. Scan, bag. Thank fuck for small mercies.

Enough with the swearing now Ian.

Deaf cat

Deaf cat
Originally uploaded by Ian Wilson.

I just thought that this was funny.

Music Meme

Most of you won't find it a suprise, I don't think, that I've been toying with the idea of anaesthetising this blog. There hasn't been much action here lately - largely because I haven't had much drive to write anything.

And I tire of writing just to keep the page ticking over.

However! Yes, with an exclamation mark! This is not a good-bye post. I've recently been tagged to do a 20 question music meme, and following Dan's and Nat's lead, this will be making an appearance in the form of a podcast toward the end of the week. Well, more accurately it will be in the form of 2 podcasts.

You may well wonder why 2. Well, there's alot of great music involved and I couldn't decide which tracks to cut and which to leave. I suffer with indecision when it comes to meaningless choice. I'm great with the important stuff - really great. But don't ever ask me to pick a video out for you. Not unless you've got some time on your hands.

So by the end of the week you should find the first of the foolstop sessions available for dowload right here. I've been threatening a podcast for a while now and this meme has made learning the ropes quite interesting. Hopefull the sessions will become a regular feature and I'll pull my finger out of my arse and get blogging again.